Having spent over 15 years in the transformation space – writing about it, making videos & films, teaching workshops, working with clients, and getting to observe others’ journeys – I’ve come to see several key principles that really make a difference in results that stick.
These also happen to be among the basics of what I incorporate into my own life and have seen great results with.
I’m going to share these insights below in hopes that they impact your life too.
Here goes…
1. I Feel My Emotions
Feeling what is often referred to as negative emotions is not all that fun. Whether it is sadness, anger, frustration, shame, self judgement, worry etc. They can be uncomfortable and even overwhelming. But avoiding them doesn’t help us.
We might avoid emotions by drowning them out with cannabis, alcohol or food. Maybe we choose distract ourselves with movies, books, meditation, and work when these emotions arise.
When we do this, they still wreak havoc on our system and we train ourselves to dissociate from our body and experience.
Instead, I make the space to feel them. This isn’t always easy. I make it easier by pausing, taking a breath, orienting to the present using my senses, and then I notice and feel what is arising.
Emotions are always temporary, and often signposts telling us something about ourselves or a situation.
As we make space and listen, without getting too caught up in story, the emotion’s energy dissipates and we can even gain clarity on what to do next.
This can take skill to learn to do, but it’s worth focusing on.
2. I Move Beyond Right & Wrong.
There are very few things in life that are black and white. Embodying this truth means being curious about life situations so we can explore the complexity of ourselves and others.
Whether we obsessively make ourselves wrong, or whether everyone else is always wrong, this way of thinking creates a lot of bashing and spirals into negativity.
Instead, I accept things and get curious. I ask better and deeper questions about why things might have unfolded the way they did, what part I had in them and what others were feeling.
I think about how to move forward vs. staying stuck in judging the moment.
Coupled with the openness to feel emotions, moving beyond a strict sense of right and wrong brings on empathy for ourselves and others. It allows us to set boundaries when we need to, and set aside behaviour we don’t like without creating hate, resentment and unnecessary tension.
3. I Trust Life. Trust Myself. I Trust My Body.
This can be hard at times for sure, but I orient back to it.
For me, this means getting out of worry and incessant spirals of ‘what if.’ It means attuning to an energy bigger than myself and holding a trust that knows things will work out. I trust I will find a path, gain clarity, meet the right person who can help etc.
This is a foundational mindset and does not replace skill building, action or doing. It is simply the being that feeds into all of those things.
When we trust, we let things go more easily. We let things happen and we stop resisting. Life becomes lighter and moving through challenges feels more possible.
There is an incredible amount of intelligence in our physical body. It even holds the key to forms of intuition. Learn to trust it.
*One caveat here is this also means learning to discern stress-based ‘intuition’ and true intuition.
4. I Accept Where I’m At & What Has Happened
This one can also be tough, but it is equally as crucial.
Having gone from creating the biggest conscious media and transformation brand out there to being forgotten by most people, it’s easy to feel like “Shit, I had it, and now it’s gone. Did I even do anything of value? Does anyone even know or see me? How could someone else have just shut down what I built?!”
It is painful to not be recognized for having contributed so much to a field that is now taken over by celebrities and new voices.
But accepting it is where the freedom is. I make space to feel that grief so it can pass, and I don’t relive the thoughts over and over to become consumed by “what could or should have been.”
I accept situations of all types. Some situations are easier than others, but nonetheless it is wise to practice.
Acceptance can still mean setting boundaries and taking action, but it also means not fretting over what has happened.
What has happened HAS HAPPENED, it cannot NOT HAPPEN. That is accepting this moment.
5. I Practice
It’s easy to read 100 books and attend 10 conferences so that you KNOW everything in your mind. But this doesn’t mean we truly embody something.
I’ll pat my own back in saying this one I’ve been good at for a long time and it’s perhaps why resilience has stuck with me.
All of the above principles take practice to integrate. And some become easier when we practice things like capacity building and presence. It’s like training our ability to implement these things.
Whether it’s making integral decisions no matter the situation, taking the time to practice slowing down, embodiment work, breathwork, being kind, improving my craft, or staying true to the continual unfoldment of myself as a person – I practice.
We often want to grow or change or do something different in our life, but aren’t willing to truly meet the transformation that is needed for that to unfold.
We might think one meditation here and there, or one session with a therapist will do the trick, or that some ‘DNA activation’ session will solve it all – all while spending 99% of the rest of our time doing the same old. It doesn’t work without practice.
Truth is, it’s that quality of our consciousness and being in that 99% of our time that truly makes a difference.
Contemplation
Do any of these principles resonate with you as something that can be implemented in your life? If so, what is the very first step you can take? Something so small and so simple that you can’t put it off and say no to it…
- This insight is from a weekly newsletter we send out called The CE Insight. Sign up here to get more.
